You are not prepared

Having to drag the cans to the curb every week is a bit of a pain, but I’d much rather live in a neighborhood with garbage collection than have to manually release every object I retain.

For the last couple days, I’ve had David Lee Roth stuck in my head.

AND HE’S WEARING ASSLESS PANTS!

DEAR GOD!

PLEASE SEND HELP!

I love the smell of Xcode in the morning: It smells like …

… challenges.

The one year old, encouraged by her older sister, has become enamored of knock-knock jokes. To be specific, she’s become enamored of a knock-knock joke. It goes like this:

1 Year Old: Knock-knock.

Dad: Who’s there?

1 Year Old: Nuffin.

Dad: Nothing who?

1 Year Old: <silence>

3 Year Old: <hysterical laughter>

The thing is, I don’t think either of them really “get” the joke, and it’s funnier than anything I’ve come up with in years.

Someone needs to explain to me how it is that the Tacoma Mall has an Apple Store, but downtown Seattle gets nothing. It’s not like Seattleites don’t like Apple. They love apple. Look at this table!

(Note: This table is likely meaningless. Taken from mintdata.)

I just spent thirty minutes tooling around 2 different AT&T* stores and an Office Depot** looking for an iPhone stand. No luck. I swear that if there were somewhere nearby that I could actually act upon my impulses for Apple products and accessories, they would get $500 a month from me.

Update: I just became a backer of the Glif project. I’ll have to wait for my stand, but it’s only $20 and it looks like it’s just what I need.

*Of course we have two AT&T stores (pretty big ones too) within three blocks of each other. Counting Radio Shack, T-Mobile, Verizon, Sprint, and those sleazy looking affiliate stores, there are probably more places to buy a cell phone downtown than there are Starbucks. And there are a lot of Starbucks.

**It may have actually been an Office Max or even a Staples. Is there really any difference between those stores?

I’m trying desperately to come up with a joke involving feeling out of my element and the periodic table, but I’m way too uncomfortable to think straight.

Unrelated: They really should serve alcohol at these all-parent meetings at the preschool.

I have a feeling that my greatest fear is becoming realized and that the three year old is going to grow up to be a Republican.

I present the following evidence:

• Her favorite animal at the zoo is the elephant.
• Her favorite genre of music is country.^*
• And the clincher - Whenever you try and reason with her during an argument, she stomps her feet, grimaces harshly, and delivers this retort: “No! Don’t say that!”

As for the one year old, her favorite animal is the giraffe. So who knows what the hell that means.

^*I’m taking a bit of poetic licence here. Technically, her favorite genre is bluegrass, especially if it involves a lot a banjo.